She wanted to climb to the top of the pyramids and to see things leftover from a world forgotten. Egypt was just a little too far for her. She told me a number of times she would settle for the pyramids in Mexico. So, I knew exactly what I wanted to do in while in the Yucatan! While I wandered about the monuments the Maya left behind, I couldn’t help but wonder about the monuments my wife left behind.
When I lost Cassie, I lost the feeling of being known by someone. Losing that leads to unexpected feelings of loneliness that I can’t quite express to other people. It can be isolating and overwhelming. Whenever Cassie would feel overwhelmed, she would look at me and say, “Let’s just run away to Mexico.” So when that feeling blindsided me last week, I decided to run away… to Mexico.
Cassie had a way of making people smile. She reveled in her quirks and she flaunted her weirdness. That made Halloween her time to shine. It’s as if she thought to herself, “What costume could I wear, that no one else ever would?” I tried to do the same this year. As I did, I was reminded of an important purpose in wearing costumes and disguises.
One day, I noticed Cassie was sitting alone eating a pop-tart, so I made a comment about it. Next thing I know, I’m sitting at this high school lunch table with the funniest, cutest girl I’d ever met. At that table she made me feel like I was a better person just for being around her. She made me want to be better, then showed me how just by sharing her life. And over a couple of pop-tarts, she wound up being the first person to ever invite me to church.
At her memorial, I told everyone that “Sunflowers were Cassie’s favorite flowers.” But there was a period where she hated them… no thanks to me. I took a trip out to see a field of them anyways. They say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But maybe they should say it’s in the heart of the beholder…
Between Cassie and I, one of our most memorable dates was going to St. Cloud Lakefront to watch the fireflies. And one of the things we were looking forward to most about summer in West Virginia was catching them with our nieces. Fireflies come with the reminder that there is hope in the darkness, even if they can’t dispel it.
Cassie’s relatives provide countless reminders of her, with all the little quirks they shared. But there is one person in particular who has an absurd amount of the same attributes Cassie had. She, like so many others, have helped me to rebuild something broken—an identity.
Back in 2014, Cassie’s longtime friend got married to one of mine. We made a trip to Colorado to see them, and after having so much fun, we promised we would go back again. This year I had an opportunity to keep my half of the promise, and so I took it! Despite being 1500+ miles away, exactly one mile higher from sea level than me and living radically different lives, we’re still friends. See, sometimes you don’t realize the union you have with people until you plan a re-union.
Ever since that first moment I was called “Uncle Rich” (or Uncle Ritchie), I’ve had an overwhelming desire to claim the title of Favorite Uncle! It was a dream that Cassie supported wholeheartedly, and that she even made her own. In fact, if we got to be near any of those seven nieces of ours, Cass would go out of her way to make me play with them. Because two of those nieces went with me to West Virginia, I was bursting at the seams with excitement, thinking of all the things we could do together.
I don’t know how to describe Bernie Sampson, except to say that he radiates joy. He would tell me that he loves smiles, even if just for the idea of smiles—that if you put one on, it’ll spread like wildfire to the people around you. Looking at this man, affectionately called Bumpy, I could only guess that a lot of people wore big happy grins when they were around him. It seemed like nothing could take that sign of happiness from his face. But he tells me he hasn’t always been this way…