If Cassie Could Sing
Our Yarn: Knitting, Pt. 2
After learning everything I needed to know about knitting to make my wife’s dream come true, I realized why Cassie never did.
If Cassie Could Sing
Tiny Trees
The things we can measure (size for example) don’t determine value. Life is about being the best version of yourself wherever you are planted. That’s true for trees. That’s also true for people.
If Cassie Could Sing
Our Yarn: Knitting, Pt. 1
Cassie had one incredibly specific dream she wanted to make a reality by knitting. For some reason, she never got around to it. But after trying to learn how to knit myself, I’m starting to imagine why.
If Cassie Could Sing
The Christmas Edition
So apparently the “holiday blues” are a thing. I was hopeful I could escape it. But since I got caught up anyways, I realized I needed someone to save me from this new kind of grief.
If Cassie Could Sing
Holding a Candle to God
Cassie’s always wanted to see a sky lantern festival. Though she never got to, I had the chance to light a lantern for her, letting it go while the world around me sang Hallelujah.
If Cassie Could Sing
Where Can I Go? Where Can I Flee? Pt. 2
Cassie loved the sunshine. She also hated the dark. As I explored both beaches and caves in Mexico, I could only think of the way the Light of the World dealt with darkness—by embracing that darkness and loving despite it.
If Cassie Could Sing
Judgment Day
I spent the last couple weeks thinking of responses to the question, “How have you been blessed since Cassie’s passing?” Now with a court date approaching, I had 48 hours to respond to, “How have you been hurt since Cassie’s passing?” So in the course of a couple days, I had to think of what to say that would reflect both Cassie’s love of justice and her love for mercy and grace. I don’t know that there is an easy way to do that. But I tried to as best I could in my victim impact statement…
If Cassie Could Sing
Unorthodox Holidays
Our pineapple plant had a lot of memories tied up in it. Including the life of the pineapple plants it had come from. The last pineapple harvest, we didn’t celebrate as much as we planned. So Cassie promised we would make a huge celebration out of the next harvest–Pineapple Day! It turns out, Pineapple Day was just the made-up holiday I needed as I approach the actual holidays.
If Cassie Could Sing
Where Can I Go? Where Can I Flee? Pt. 1
She wanted to climb to the top of the pyramids and to see things leftover from a world forgotten. Egypt was just a little too far for her. She told me a number of times she would settle for the pyramids in Mexico. So, I knew exactly what I wanted to do in while in the Yucatan! While I wandered about the monuments the Maya left behind, I couldn’t help but wonder about the monuments my wife left behind.
If Cassie Could Sing
Where Can I Go? Where Can I Flee? Pt. 0
When I lost Cassie, I lost the feeling of being known by someone. Losing that leads to unexpected feelings of loneliness that I can’t quite express to other people. It can be isolating and overwhelming. Whenever Cassie would feel overwhelmed, she would look at me and say, “Let’s just run away to Mexico.” So when that feeling blindsided me last week, I decided to run away… to Mexico.