I don’t know how to describe Bernie Sampson, except to say that he radiates joy. He would tell me that he loves smiles, even if just for the idea of smiles—that if you put one on, it’ll spread like wildfire to the people around you. Looking at this man, affectionately called Bumpy, I could only guess that a lot of people wore big happy grins when they were around him. It seemed like nothing could take that sign of happiness from his face.
I rejoice in every day the Lord has given me.
~Bumpy
A Life Leading to… What?
But he tells me he hasn’t always been this way. And I’m taken aback as he tells me he regrets the way he chose to live most of his life. He regrets that he hasn’t always been the way he is now. He wishes there weren’t two Bernies: an old one and a new one. As this current Bernie looks back at the old one, he asks the perfectly legitimate question, “Why would God choose me?”
As a firefighter/EMT, why was he not shot when he ran to the side of a distressed man still wielding the gun just used to fatally wound a state trooper, nothing to protect him but a bag full of bandages? Why was he allowed to survive a flash fire giving him 3rd degree burns on both ears as he searched a burning building (pictured below) for a person thought to be trapped? Why was he allowed to survive a brutal car accident, one that left him with a concussion, broken bones, hepatic and splenic lacerations, and blood filling his lungs?
Bernie asked with every miraculous circumstance that kept him with us, but he asked the same question with every tragedy as well. When his wife passed away in August of 2006—Why me? When his house caught on fire in January 2007—Why me? When his legs gave out due to severe diabetic neuropathy, taking away his ability to walk—Why me? When his inability to work forced him to forfeit both his private electronic assembly business and his career as an EMT, the only things he felt he had to show for a lifetime of struggling to be on top—Why me? And even years later, as money ran low and he was pressured to put up his house for short-sale—Why me?
Picking up the Pieces
Bernie describes a long and serious bout of depression following that year of loss. He eventually started attending church after his wife passed away, but that didn’t cure much of anything for him then. He was still depressed. He was just “going through the motions.” But something told him church was the right place to be, even if it didn’t feel particularly right or wrong. Bernie went on this way for several years.
After much time, he did start to notice some things in his life falling into place, thanks largely to the influence of several friends and the pastors of the Congregational Churches he was attending. It was as though God had been trying to get his attention all along. Only now that Bernie was moving just a little bit closer to Him, he could finally hear that still, small voice. It might not be affecting his feelings (in the worst moments, self-described as “not being sure what kept me from ending it all”), but it was soaking into his thoughts.
Following that tragic 2006-2007 period, he had been left alone to reflect on the life he was once proud of as he silently attended sermons. After years of drifting, he came to appreciate the reality that, in his own words, “bad behavior is rewarded with bad consequences.” When the wife he loved to look on passed away, he was forced to look harder at the man staring back at him from the mirror. James (as in the Book of James) compares hearing the word of God to looking in a mirror—an appropriate analogy because it reveals who we are in our hearts. It seems to have done so for Bernie.
Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.
James 1
Bernie realized just how prideful he had been in every work he did. He had always measured his life a certain way—his success in his works determined his worth. So, when everything he had worked for over the course of a lifetime was stolen away, he was left with a deadening sense of uselessness or of emptiness. And when even the wealth he had worked so hard for was stripped away, he was left with a gaping hole in his heart that seemed to be growing deeper.
A New Life
I asked Bumpy what it was he admires most in Christ. He answered, “His ability to forgive.” I like to think that’s because Christ’s forgiveness is what Bumpy believes most incredible about his own story. That a man—a man who had been moving towards selfish ambitions, towards pride and away from God for decades—could still be forgiven all his debts to the One above his life, that is huge to Bumpy. It would be overwhelming to think of the hundreds and thousands of times we have grieved God’s heart, only for him to wrap us up in his arms, set us on our feet, and lovingly bless us on our way to the good works he’s set before us; and we need only to choose to immerse ourselves in what God offers to us—Himself.
Bernie would do just that. He would because something had finally clicked inside his head. For years he was saving lives as a firefighter and emergency medical technician without connecting it to God’s call on his life—doing without hearing. Then the situation flipped from 2007-2012 when he was knocked on his back, stuck looking heavenward—hearing without doing. Eventually, a number of small circumstances came together: he was brought to Central Florida due to financial troubles, he started attending Kissimmee Christian Church, he was guided by God’s gentle voice to help one sad child (a story in its own right), providentially leading to his volunteerism at Give Kids the World Village (GKtW). By mid-May of 2013, everything was seeming to fit together for Bernie. He sat down to lunch at Dunkin’ Donuts with a pastor of Kissimmee Christian to talk about his life, his faith, and his future. A few days later he was immersed in Christian baptism, and he hasn’t looked back since. See, something had happened that never did in all the other years of his life—he was doing what was good while the church constantly filled him in on why and how.
But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.
James 1
A New Work
Bumpy felt blessed. He knew he was doing work that he was called to do while volunteering at GKtW. It is a place where children and families who had been dealt the worst cards in life, could happily open their hearts to something truly good—to people who loved them.
Bumpy made sure to tell me about a girl from the Village who had cerebral palsy. He recalled how she became increasingly more excited anytime she would see him. She couldn’t talk though, she could only make guttural noises and smile to let Bumpy know. Until one day when he saw her by the pool. This time she had her speech generating device so that she could talk as she typed with her teeth. Bumpy says the two of them held one of the deepest conversations he has ever had with anyone. She probed him with questions and told him her own aspirations.
There is something within her that nobody understands or can see for the surface. It takes faith to bring it out.
~Bumpy
This girl wanted to write novels, “like Harry Potter but better.” Months later she emailed him a story of hers about a magical tree inhabited by elves, chief of which was Bumpenhauser (also nicknamed Bumpy). Bumpenhauser took care of all the hurting and sick babies who were living throughout the tree in nests. He says he could scarcely bring himself to write back to her because he was ashamed of his own writing skills compared to hers. But he replied saying how great the story was and how much it meant to him. Months later he heard from her again. She had the opportunity to “speak” in a prepared statement to the House of Commons in Parliament. She delivered an address about the issues facing families dealing with children’s health care in her home country, or as she put it “the lack there of.” It was an opportunity she was scared to take, but she decided to anyways because “If Bumpy thought I was so gifted, then I figured I could do this thing.”
Even still, Bumpy remains humble about his work volunteering at GKtW. And I’m not the only one impressed by his perspective. Every person in the church who knows him says the same. Bumpy says to me, “The Lord has given me so much, I just wanna give back till that day.” Those whom I have spoken with point to him doing just that—giving joy, giving hope and giving relief.
A New Perspective
One day while serving at GKtW, Bumpy nearly passed out. As he came to his senses, he found he couldn’t move his right leg. He was admitted to the hospital shortly after, but no tests were coming up positive. It wasn’t a stroke. It wasn’t a complication of his neuropathy. It wasn’t any obvious circulatory issue. His mind, heart, and leg appeared well on all tests; his leg just wasn’t working when Bumpy told it to, a fact made more troubling by his near-syncopal episode. At the end of it all, Bumpy says he was the first to guess what the actual cause of his condition was—a large (4 cm) tumor compressing the tissues just above his right hip and on his “L1” vertebra. Yet again he couldn’t walk. Yet again he couldn’t work.
I mention all this to say, no matter who I talk to, whether Bumpy or the elders and pastors of Kissimmee Christian, they report that this man was still glowing with joy throughout the process. He seemed to be a bright light to everyone around him. And this from the same person who fell into a severe bout of depression when he lost his ability to walk and work 10 years prior. He truly had changed. By all accounts, Bumpy’s mind had been, and is still being, transformed.
When you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus, you were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
Ephesians 4
He admits that the prognosis for this kind of cancer and at his age is not the best, but to some extent manageable. But Bumpy takes courage from all the children he has served. He says they have faced worse things than what he is going through. They were able to find “the gift of life,” and he looks to them as role models. More than that, he looks to Christ for inspiration and motivation. With the example of Christ as a suffering servant, Bernie clings to the hope built into his faith. Even if the therapies bring even more pain, even if those therapies are just an “if,” Bumpy decided it is worth it to try for any measure of healing. It is worth it to him because his heart is determined to help more people, more families and more children if he is allowed the time to.
As he reflects back on his old life, he only remarks, “What took me so long!?
Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good!
For His mercy endures forever.…
I called on the Lord in distress;
The Lord answered me and set me in a broad place.…
This is the day the Lord has made;
We will rejoice and be glad in it.Psalm 118
Bumpy with Henri Landwirth and Margot Landwirth Glazer
P.S.
This is the first From Test to Testimonies post. The story as posted here is an abridged version. A life is a big thing, and God’s work in our lives even more so. So, Bumpy’s full account seemed much too long for any kind of online format. I expect the others to be no different. At the moment, plans for those long versions are still up in the air.
P.P.S.
Bumpy highly recommends the book, The Gift of Life by Henri Landwirth. The author is a Holocaust survivor, immigrant entrepreneur, veteran and the founder of Give Kids the World Village.
He also wants to acknowledge Jim Book, the pastor he connected with at KCC, Rev. Dale of Mayflower Congregational Church in Kingston, MA and Rev. Patrick of Denmark Congregational Church in Denmark, ME for the roles they played in his path towards Christ.
