Part 0 (Summer in the Mountains) — Part 1 (Say Uncle) — Part 2 (Family… Sorta?)
— Part 3 (Fireflies)
Lights on the Lake
Back in 2014, Cassie and I got into a fight over the phone, though I can’t remember what it was about for the life of me. I was so mad that I had to get up and leave. But after a couple hours of driving, I still wasn’t able to think sympathetically about the situation. So I pulled over at St. Cloud Lakefront and started walking until the sun started to set. I still didn’t want to go back to where I was staying, so I sat on a little bridge by a pond on the lakeshore. Then something surprising happened…
Fireflies! There were fireflies everywhere. They started rising up out of the marshy lakeshore landscape. I was a little less angry at Cassie and at myself by this point. And I became super happy at beautiful flickering lights filling up my view of the lake. While I didn’t know what I was going to say to Cassie, I knew how I could surprise her on our next date.
At lakefront one summer
Of course, Cassie was a little unsure when I took her out there a couple days after a big argument:
“Where are you taking me?” “It’s a surprise.”
“Why are we going to this park? It’s getting dark?” “It’s a surprise, Cassie.”
“Richard, did you take me here to kill me? This is super weird.” “NO! And it’s a surprise!”
But she was blown away by the fireflies. It wound up being one of our most memorable dates. To me, those little glowing bugs will always remind me to let go of anger and to appreciate beauty. They will always remind me to just look for the light when things get dark. They remind me of how Cassie could make any situation an occasion for joy, even if we were just walking next to a bog full of alligators, surrounded by a few flickering lights. They remind me that Cassie’s second favorite love story, out of all of Disney’s animated movies, was the one of Raymond and Evangeline—a story of loving someone in heaven. (Cassie made me watch The Princess and the Frog just so I could get her reference to Ray.)
Glowing Over the Green Grass
My family and I went to West Virginia in the Summer—firefly season. Of all the things I looked forward to doing with Cassie there, chasing fireflies with her and my nieces was probably at the top of the list. And it was probably what she looked forward to the most about seeing summer in West Virginia. She had seen the farm with fresh snow blanketing the ground and an invigorating chill in the air. But she never got to run around the farm’s green fields under the stars on a warm summer night, while the lightning bugs chased each other on the breeze.
There’s something inherently whimsical about catching fireflies. Any thought of it feels like daydreaming. Like little fairies, they only come out at twilight, just as the world gets dark and the moon starts to shine. It’s as though the first firefly lights its lamp when the first star shines in the sky. When I need a happy thought, I can still think back to the laughter and giggles of my nieces this Summer as they ran, jumped, lunged and eventually caught the flies. And there’s those few moments of childish joy, feeling like you caught something magical, as you see a little flash of light escape between the gaps in your clasped hands.
There are fireflies in this picture… trust me
Lights in the Darkness
The Bible begins as God brings in creation with the words, “Let there be light.” The last image in the Bible, how eternity will look at the end of time, describes, “There will be no night. [His servants] will not need the light of a lamp nor the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light.” God’s light is never-ending and always shining. It is like a lighthouse beaming steadfastly through a storm.
I used to think that fireflies were an excellent symbol for God’s light. But they’re actual pretty terrible when you try to compare the two. Their glowing is anything but steadfast. They show up for a couple months out of the year (a couple weeks in Florida), for about one hour each day, and only light up for maybe a second before disappearing into the darkness for up to a few minutes. That being said, they might be better symbols for how people shine our God-given light.
Let your light shine before men that they may see your good deeds and glorify you’re your Father in heaven.
Matthew 5
I’d like to say that in the darkness of my grief, I’ve been able to focus my eyes on Christ. I’d like to say he’s been a constant beacon of guidance and of comfort for me. Still, God’s light is clouded from my eyes occasionally by loneliness or emptiness. I try to look to others in those times, but who can shine as brightly?
Like fireflies in the night, my friends and family can only provide little bursts of light every now and then. They shine long enough to remind me that there are still people all around me who care. They shine long enough to let me know where to look for direction. And they shine just long enough to remind me there are still beautiful things in this life. But no one can shine long enough to make the darkness go away entirely. Sometimes, we just have to endure it until the clouds to go away or the night to passes; then we can see by the light of Christ again.
Part 0 (Summer in the Mountains) — Part 1 (Say Uncle) — Part 2 (Family… Sorta?)
— Part 3 (Fireflies)
